Books I Love: Where the Sidewalk Ends

Title
Where the Sidewalk Ends

Author
Shel Silverstein

I first read this book
about 1985

I have a powerful memory of my mother coming into my grandmother's back bedroom where I was playing one afternoon. She held a thick book in her hands.  The book's jacket was gone, leaving the brown cover with a darker brown scrawl pressed in it. I realized later this was the imprint of Shel Silverstein's signature. I've always thought it was impressive that his signature was pressed into the cover of a book.

Mom told me she wanted to share a book with me--a book of poetry. She stretched out beside me on the king-size bed and began reading some of the poems. I vividly remember her interpretation of "Sick."

I was hooked instantly.

Not only did I fall in love with Shel Silverstein's poetry, but I discovered a love of poetry in general.

The poetry I write is terrible. I simply do not think like a poet. I wish I did. Imagine being able to distill a complex emotion or thought into the confines of a poem.

Shel Silverstein and his poetry have fared me well. I've bonded with friends over our mutual love for his poems. I've performed his poems in poetry competitions.

One of my favorite memories of performing his work was when I read "Little Abigail and the Beautiful Pony" to a school group touring the library. (Technically, that poem is from A Light In the Attic, but I love that book, too.)

I was reading to this group of first or second graders, and I was having a blast.  I was reading with emotion and attitude and truly giving them a show when, from the front row, I hear one girl say to her friend, "She's crazy."

I don't know how I managed to stop myself from bursting out laughing when I heard that. Internally, I certainly was. I can only hope she delighted in my "crazy" performance and maybe even remembers it still.

But she was correct. I am crazy about poetry, and I love, love, love to share those feelings with others. Just as my mother did with me.

Louis Sachar: An Appreciation

I first discovered Louis Sachar's work in elementary school when I read Sideways Stories from Wayside School. I don't recall how exactly I had a copy of the book--either I bought it for myself at a book fair or my mother bought it for me somewhere. I should have been knee deep in my "biography phase" at the time, so I don't even know why I read it. But I did.

And I loved it.

It was silly and sad, ridiculous and oh-so-real. Wayside School was utterly fictitious, but the children in that classroom on the 30th floor were utterly human.

I devoured Sideways Stories from Wayside School (seriously, it needs to be a TV show on Netflix). I discovered something new every time I read it.

As I grew older, I completed my own elementary, junior high and high school educations. I went on to college and then on to graduate school.

During my first year of grad school, I turned on the Today show and saw Katie Couric talking to that year's Newbery and Caldecott recipients (sadly, they no longer do this). Imagine my surprise when I saw Louis Sachar talking about his novel Holes.

It sounded amazing, so I went out and bought a copy. And it was amazing!

Intricately plotted, heartbreakingly real. I found the story of Stanley Yelnats and the other poor boys at Camp Green Lake equal parts devastating and inspiring. Plus, it was set in Texas.

A few years later, I was lucky enough to escort Louis Sachar around the Texas Book Festival in Austin. During his panel discussion, one young boy stood up to ask the best question I've ever heard asked of an author. He was about eleven years old, and he said, "In Sideways Stories from Wayside School, you said the building was 30 stories tall but there is no 19th floor. So how can it be 30 stories tall?"

To his credit, Louis Sachar took that question in stride and answered it. "Do you know what zen means?"

The boy did not, so the author explained. Then he wrapped it all up. "Sideways Stories is sort of the Zen Guide to Elementary School."

The boy replied, "Okay. Thanks."

I have no idea if that boy remembers asking Louis Sachar that question, but I thought the whole exchange was so delightful that I've remembered it.

If you haven't read anything by Louis Sachar, do yourself a favor. Grab Holes, Sideways Stories, Fuzzy Mud or one of his other tales. There's something to love in all of them.

My Grandmother’s #MeToo Trauma

My grandmother in the 1940s or 1950s.

photographer unknown

This is a hard post for me to write. I struggled about whether or not I should even write this, but I think I should.

With all the talk the past year or so about sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape, I've been thinking a great deal. The discussions haven't brought up any trauma for me. Like every woman, I've been subjected to harassment. This is not to deny that those injustices should be ignored but merely to state that I am okay.

This post isn't about me.

This is about my grandmother.

She passed in 2011, and I miss her every day. About six or seven months before she passed, she entrusted me with a secret.

She had been molested and raped as a child and teen.

She didn't tell me the gory details, and I didn't ask. She didn't tell me names, though I have no doubt she remembered them. Suffice it to say, she knew her attackers.

Even she wasn't sure if everything that had been done to her "counted" as something wrong. She asked me that when talking about the man who took her into a room as a child and did things to her. "Now, isn't that wrong?"

I told her yes, it was. I said that with absolute conviction because it is true.

My grandmother in the mid-1980s

in San Antonio.

photo by my mother

I don't know how I kept from crying when she told me that. I'm crying typing this right now.

The point I want to make here is not to name the men who hurt my grandmother; I don't know their names. The point is not to damage the way people remember my grandmother; they have their own memories of her to recall.

The point is that that trauma lived with my grandmother for the rest of her life.

She lacked confidence in herself. She considered herself “stupid” (her word, not mine).

These things I knew long before I knew about her assaults. I always thought they were a result of bullying behavior by siblings or the fact that she had to quit school in sixth grade. And I'm sure that's part of it, too.

But it all boils down to the shame she lived with every day for most of her life.

My grandmother and grandfather at their

40th wedding anniversary.

photographer unknown

As far as I know, the only person she told was her husband.

People who have been assaulted sexually are forced to deal with that shame and trauma every day. Some are able to talk about their experiences almost immediately, and some are not. Some are lucky enough to see their attackers serve time in prison. Most are not.

The revelations and news about sexual offenders that has come out over the past years has been infuriating, heartbreaking and depressing. I do not know how my grandmother would have responded to all of these revelations. Would they have brought back painful memories? Would she have told me more details? Would she have reached out to someone for help?

I like to think she would appreciate me writing this post for her as a way to exorcise some of her demons. I hope that's true.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs help, please contact RAINN.

You can also donate to RAINN.

Jon Scieszka: An Appreciation

What can I say about Jon Scieszka that hasn't already been said?

I got to meet him once when I was helping with local arrangements for the Texas Library Association's annual conference. He was going to assist with the emcee duties for the Book Cart Drill Team Competition, and we were reviewing the way the event would go.

He was such fun!

There are people you meet and you instantly feel like you could be friends with this person forever. Jon Scieszka is like that. I don't remember if we were formally introduced or not. In my memory, he just showed up and joined this group of Texas librarians like he had been there for years.

I suppose, in a way, he had.

Librarians have rock star authors that we love for any number of reasons. One of the biggest reasons we love certain authors is that they love libraries and reading, too. Jon Scieszka is one of those authors. Like librarians, he knows there's a story out there for every reader--especially so-called "reluctant" boy readers. It's one of the reasons he started Guys Read.

Ultimately, though, his books are funny and customers love them. There doesn't need to be anything more than that. But the fact that there is? That's what makes Jon Scieszka a rock star.